The Leader Of The Food Revolution: Melbourne Chapter

I would like to welcome the first ever guest blogger to my little site, my boyfriend. I offered this spot to Jack after witnessing first hand his level of food excitement shoot through the roof this week. So, here goes…

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I’ve just wikipedia-ed Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution and it first aired in 2010. I thought it was brand new. Still, it is no small feat that in 2013, after only two days of watching Jamie’s program, I have become a principle player and fundamental ambassador for eating healthy and cooking fresh.

Jamie is trying to start a revolution in American schools by changing their lunch menus to something a little more wholesome. Wait a second! That is exactly my passion – is what I decided while I was watching it. I care about fresh food and cooking from raw foods only! Why are the school board being so difficult with Jamie’s new menu?? He’s only trying to make a difference for Pete’s sake!! He’s only trying to start a damn REVOLUTION!!

Cut to me at the supermarket cradling a lettuce head and looking through the different types of basil leaves. Everybody at Woolies would have been convinced that this was the real me had I not also been purchasing a cutting board, a dead-giveaway that this was a new pursuit. Unless my supermarket peers thought that I cut fresh produce so often that I had all but cut through my existing cutting board and was having to buy a new one.

Cooking was underway, greens were flying, the stove was flaming and I was attempting to do that knife shimmy thing that Jamie was teaching the fat kids to do on the program. Somehow or other it’s 7pm, and the meal is done. Just as Bianca is coming through the door.

It was hard for me to chew my meal and deliver the food revolution manifesto to her at the same time, but I gave it a fair whack. I was speaking, between mouthfuls, with the air of a man who invented the idea of growing food in the ground for the purpose of eating.

When Bianca was nice enough to offer some praise for the meal, I wore a smug look on my face, which I felt like I deserved, and then because I felt like I deserved it, the look doubled in smugness. Then I got carried away with my smugness, I leant back in my chair and rested my hands behind my head. Then I unironically* announced “I am the leader of the Food Revolution: Melbourne Chapter”. (I threw in “Melbourne Chapter” last minute. Only because, even despite my smugness, Jamie is the real leader of the revolution seeing as he started it and came up with the idea and filmed the shows and put them on TV and probably watched more than 3 episodes)

The only question now is, will your fearless leader cook another fresh food meal before the left over spring onion in the fridge goes bad? … Only time will tell.

Leader out**.

*Unironically is not a word, but what does ol’ Smug-face care

**Those last two references to ‘leader’ are referring to me, even though I called Jamie the real ‘leader’. To avoid any further confusion, all future blog posts^ will refer to Jamie as the “Real Leader” whereas I will be referred to simply as “Leader”

^I have outstayed my welcome, Bianca says there will be no future blog posts


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