Just like there are rules in life, there should be rules for going out to breakfast. In a perfect world these rules would be implemented by waiters, doubling as The Breakfast Police, so we can not only avoid making mistakes, but also the excuse that we didn’t know is demolished.
The rule I’d like to put forth: Do NOT share breakfast with a table of more than two people. (And with two people orders must be approved).
Argument: Three is my favorite number, but it’s still two too many people. And four? Forget ’bout it! Breakfast in Melbourne is just not made for sharing.
Case: Bianca vs Friends at De Clieu
Last Saturday. Table of Four. De Clieu on Gertrude Street, Fitzroy.
There were too many dishes on the small menu that we all wanted to try. The same three dishes were top of mind for us all: BLAT, eggs benedict and the croquettes with a side of feta and bacon.
We decided to get them all and share.
Jack ordered for us all and when the waitress was done taking notes she looked at me next with her pencil and pad still in tact. Even she though it was crazier for four people to be sharing three meals than for one person to be having three meals to himself.
Because, okay. You tell me who’s going to be in charge of cutting the egg benedict into quarters. No one! It’s unnatural and should never be done. Only a crazy person likes eating a already cut into eggs benedict. The croquettes were easier to share but the portion size was small so if you gave away half you’d be left with almost nothing. And we were splitting it into quarters so you do the math.
I don’t know, maybe I’m just hungry and over exaggerating. I can’t force anyone to abide by the same breakfast rules that I adhere to, but don’t expect a shoulder to cry on when you’ve ruined friendships over the same situation. Use this as a precedent.